Continued from previous post . . . (read Parts 1 & 2 for this to make sense)
Once TC and Paul got on the boat, I introduced them and as soon as I could get TC alone I briefly told him about my morning full of lively conversation. Then I filled in Paul, who before I said anything asked if our visitor was drunk. And then we got Bender off the boat fairly quickly - he asked for a ride out to the big boat from Majuro, which we were more than happy to oblige.
I didn't realize how much that hour (it seemed way longer) had both angered and shaken me until TC and Paul got back from dropping him off. I was trying to wash my clothes, but I kept tearing up. Finally I just stopped, went and sat next to TC and wrapped myself in a hug from him and started crying. I didn't cry for too long, though, I think I just needed to get it out of my system and crying calmed me down somewhat. (When I get really angry, I tend to cry - not that helpful when I am fighting.)
In hindsight, I should have done what the AFN commercials say to do and told Bender, "When you say things like that to me, you make me feel uncomfortable, and if you don't stop, I am going to take it to another level." I was just so completely taken back; I still am. In the back of my mind, I might also have been thinking that I didn't want to offend the landowning family of the atoll that we would like to spend 2 to 3 weeks.
I had hoped that Bender was leaving on the big boat and going to Majuro. It appears that he didn't though. Paul and TC said that when they dropped him off at the boat, the crew did not look at all happy to see him. Plus, we later saw him go back to his island (not Bouj, but the one across the pass).
If/when we see him again, and he is sober, my two friends here on the boat said they will be explaining to Bender that he cannot talk to me, or any women for that matter, like that. Paul and TC said they don't care if we have to leave this atoll because we have to be "rude" and say something to the landowning family. I'm pretty sure that Bender's parents would not be proud of him (they're the actual landowners who are in Hawaii at the moment according to him).
This whole experience was stressful and slightly traumatic, but I have to remember that, like anywhere, there are bound to be a few not-so-nice folks. But for the most part, Ailinglaplap, and the Marshalls Islands in general, is filled with beautiful, kind, and generous people - people who invite us to share in their holidays and meals, who never fail to offer us a coconut to drink, who give us papayas and ametoma necklaces, who patiently help us practice the few Marshallese words we know an teach us new ones, and who graciously allow us to photograph everything in sight and to share in the joy of jumping pictures with us.
In the end, I also have my sense of humor to keep me smiling too - I mean, his name was Bender and he was on a bender. How fitting.
Note: I think all of the outer islands are supposed to be "dry" islands, but I'll have to research that more upon my return.
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